There are multiple reasons why an adult child may wish to move back in with their parents. Financial woes, loss of job, and divorces are common ones. Usually, the intent is to return home for a short time until they can get back on their feet. In other cases, the timeframe can stretch much longer. Regardless of the reason and the original plan, there are some steps you can take to keep the experience from becoming problematic.
1. Make sure everyone is on the same page
Start by making sure everyone in the home is in agreement as soon as plans are made for your child to move back home. As the homeowner(s), it is up to you to set ground rules and make known what exactly is expected of them. Things will not likely be the same as when they were a teenager, and it's important for you to make sure they understand this before the journey begins.
2. Have a timeline in mind
Part of making sure that everyone is on the same page is setting a timeline for them to move back out. Unless you intend for them to stay indefinitely, you should make it clear that this is only temporary, and discuss when you'd like them to be able to move back out. Talk about what it will realistically take for that scenario to play out, and help them plan accordingly.
3. Share expenses
The reason for their return may play a major role in how much they're able to financially contribute. If they've moved back because they lost their job, for example, it may be difficult for them to split the rent or groceries with you, but if they do have income, let them know that they're responsible for chipping in. As the parent and homeowner, you can decide what amount is appropriate. This does show them that they're not there for a free ride, and it never hurts to have another income stream to help pay the bills.
4. Find non-monetary ways for them to contribute
If your child is unable to contribute much (or anything) financially, that doesn't mean they can't chip in. Find other, non-monetary ways for them to contribute.
"If your adult child can't contribute to the household financially, figure out how to offset that in other ways," says Karen Axelton at Experian. (1) Perhaps your child could take over meal preparation or spend a certain amount of time on housework each week. If you normally pay service providers such as pool cleaners, gardeners, dog walkers or housekeepers, having your adult child take on these chores could save you quite a bit of money."
Have them mow the lawn or pick up the groceries or take-out. Time saved is valuable, and you may be able to save yourself some delivery fees.
5. Hold them accountable
As time goes on, make sure you're holding your child accountable and that they're holding up their end of the bargain. If they are working, make sure they're paying you the agreed-upon amount and/or that they're saving money to help them get back out on their own. If they are not holding up their end of the bargain, then it's time to have another conversation and reiterate the timeline that was previously discussed.
6. Help your kids save money
It can certainly help move the situation forward if you're able to help them save some money. You don't want a situation in which you're taken advantage of, but if they truly need some financial help and you feel comfortable doing so, you can help them save some money.
"If the goal of moving back home is to save, hold them to it," says State Farm. (2) "Consider stashing away their rent money (if you don't need it) in a separate account to help them jump-start their savings and become financially independent."
Set up a personal savings account. Both you and your child can deposit money over time, helping them get a good safety net in place for when they're ready to venture back out on their own.
Try to enjoy having your kid back home. After all, you love them, and this is a chance to spend more time together. If you can lay down some ground rules and hold them accountable, there's no reason why the experience can't be a positive one.
1. https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/how-to-manage-money-when-adult-children-move-back-in/
2. https://www.statefarm.com/simple-insights/family/boomerang-children-manage-finances-and-expectations